Circus Of Horrors, London After Midnight rehearsals, day one.

So, after 6 years of touring on and off with this show doing sound, I find myself back on the kit... And still doing sound (how the fuck did that happen?) but I'll come to that shortly.
It stemmed back to last tour when Haze (the gaffer, for want of a better expression) asked me if I was interested in coming back for this tour. The brief chat was assumed to be regarding to sound again, like the several tours previous. But he surprised me when he said, "what about drums?" Still, being the fuckwitt I am, I still didn't catch on. So I replied, "What about them?" When it did sink in, the convo was left at, "let's have a chat before the tour ends and we'll discuss it further" we didn't.
I heard through the grapevine that Sean, the previous drummer, took a panto back in the summer so I knew he wasn't going to return. So shortly after that my email inbox chimed that sound we all love so much, and this time it wasn't for a penis extension or a Russian bride.
"StevooooOOOOO! Would you like to do the tour? Sean appears to have taken a Panto so I can offer you drums. Or if you prefer sound, then that's cool too. I'd like you back whatever!"
Over the next few months negotiations swayed back and forth, his people talked to my people, we did lunch, we had meetings, el-Vino did flow and came to arrangement that suited both parties. So back on drums I am!
A welcome return band-wise is that of DA Angelow on guitar. Not happy with just the one Angelow in the band, we've picked up his brother Matt on bass. Professor is still keeping his piano stool warm from the last few years on keys. Another addition (we are undecided it's to the band or not yet) is that of Zoe on vocals. Professor found her via an Internet campaign for "someone stupi... I mean, ambitious enough to squeeze into a bottle, dress up in kit, get covered in blood, sing a bit, on stage... WANTED!"




DA having just plugged in his guitar and to his surprise, doesn't sound like arse.
Fast forward past the recording of Hellrasier at DA's Pitch Black Studios, the initial rehearsals in Swansea, to today day 2 in Wookey Hole. Day one was basically unloading and setting up the band stand, unloading the pa and generally saying "sup bitches" to those we'd not seen in 7 months since the end of the last tour.
So day one commenced at 10:00. I hate mornings, I'd like them better if they started later.




the stage, with a few bits set up. A kick drum no less, still so far away from being a drum kit that a douche like me could play




Wookey hole theatre with no fucker in it... Init?
So let's talk about how I'm not just on drums, but I am in part, responsible for sound too.
The deal I came to with Haze is that I'd double on sound (as it's a two man job) for an extra few quid per week. On the last tour, the bassist was this person. It entailed the running of cables, lifting of cabs and just being on hand if I needed help doing something sound related.
Now I am that guy. But as the new sound engineer has only worked with analogue desks and the desk on this tour being a digital (one I'm very familiar with having used it while touring with The Osmonds recently) it was basically just natural that I'd step up to the plate. This was a major help as it's a completely new rig so getting it up and running as fast as it can is imperative so that rehearsing can take place.
But to make things easier for him, I've got the iPad controlling the desk so I can sit on the drums and make changes to monitor mixes without having to shout up to the sound man to turn X down in Z monitor, so to speak. Now, they can turn to me and say, "turn X down in Z monitor" leaving the Soundman to concentrate on front of house. So... I've taken the tour on drums and I'm still being fucking hassled about monitors mixes. Jesus!
Ah, who am I kidding, I fucking love it.
The personnel for this tour is almost the same as the last, minus 3 1/4 of the band and one hairy fucker from Mexico. God Bless you Jesus Aceves, where ever your hairy ass my be.
Most of the day was spent setting up the whole PA, plugging up instruments, microphones, making a shit load of XLR to mono jack cables (for drum triggers) and ironing out other aspects of pa related shit.
Oh, and setting up a drum kit. As I am the drummer.
DA and Matt arrived at 3:30 and missed all the fun.
After sound checking Hellraiser, tweaking monitors, we were off.
We ran the first few tunes with actual acts doing their actual act, realised that we have no clue and so a lot more work music-wise is required. And stopped at 8:30 for the night.
One of the decisions I've made drum-wise is to trigger drum sample from acoustic drums instead of the usual mic-mixer arrangement of the past tours.




Ddrum DRT triggers
The Benefits.
Drums take two channels on a desk (4 with two cymbal mics) instead of 8 or 9.
I can have the biggest sounding drums even when the actual drums don't even sound as good a kipper being smacked across the face of a fat kid eating a pizza.... On a Thursday.
A kit can be changed to suit the song. For example, a rock ballad can have a huge kick and snare with loads of reverb on toms. A faster, more funkier song can have tight kick and snappy snare with dry toms with just a dial up.

Cons.

What you play is not necessarily what you hear. Setting up trigger dynamics can be royal pain in the arse. Settings (per drum) like trigger type, gain, threshold, cross-talk and velocity curve can have you starring at the module for hours on end wondering "WTF?!" Much like how most pensioners stare at the average remote control or microwave oven.

And ever after painstakingly setting this up to optimum, it will never track everything what you okay exactly.

So why bother. Because I learned a long time ago that what you actually play is secondary to how you sound.


It's also has something to do with not having enough channels for a full kit.


So why not just use electronic drum pads (as they can be set to track a lot better then triggering from drums)?

Because most people don't think electric pads look cool and my kit wouldn't looking more sexier if it has tits and a minge.

More to follow tomorrow.

X
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Wookey Hole

Abu Dhabi part 4

After my 12 days of loving the weather, hanging out with mates and being generally emersed in Chilo's amazing loving persona, it was time for me to return my hairy ass (and it is!) back to UK... But not before one jolly royal piss up! So I arranged with a bunch of folk to have a last meet up on the Wednesday as my flight was scheduled for the Thursday (24th September)

Ramadan was slowly becoming a memory so it was business as usual. Eat what you'd like when you'd like, get shit faced in a bar of your chosing listening to any band play one or all of the following songs at some point through the evening:

1. Hotel California (eagles)
2. Zombie (the cranberries)
3. Summer of '69 (Bryan Adams)
4. Sweet Home Alabama (Lynard Skynard)
5. Sweet Child O Mine (Guns And Roses)
6. Smoke On The Water (Deep Purple)
7. 500 Miles (The Proclaimers)

The funny thing about the last song in particular, and I'm speaking from my 5 years experience in the UAE here, you'd normally only get requested that when there's a load of Scottish in, though I've known it to be requested every set until we finally succumb when there's just the one in!

Further more, no matter how many times it's requested, by the same lot of drunken twats, they NEVER know where the bridge comes. Indeed they always think it's comes after the first chorus. And even when it's apparent that the band hasn't arrived at that part of the song yet, it never is to these lot of overly patriotic Philistines. So as the singer is already at the second verse doing the whole, "....when I come home, I gonna be the man that's coming home t'yee!" they are full on ranting "da dada daaaah, da dada daaaah!" oblivious to what the band is doing. This happens without fail!

Similarly, the Irish will always request "ploy sumtin' fucking Oirish!!!" but really mean Zombie or at a distant second, something by U2. Because if you took it literally and played something by Daniel O'Donnel, The Corrs or Boyzone you'd find yourself being called "coonts!"

The English and Welsh will not be so stereotypical in their music choices, but will usually be as big pains in the ass as anyone when shit faced.

I'm only talking about when there's a quantity of piss comsummed by the way. I thought I'd better point that before the SNP and any one of the Irish Terrorist groups decide to track me down and make me say sorry for my comments about their countrymen here by putting me in a headlock and rubbing my head until I canny tek a no mooorrre! (with rolling the Rs)

Anyway, back to my last piss-up. Benny and Caity were coming up from Dubai for the occasion. Benny was the bassist for the band at Hard Rock and had been in Australia for Ramadan and has just got back.

We all met at 3rd avenue, a British style pub the bottom of The Sheriton, Khalidiyah. Sarah Garaway, Belinda and Larry came too. We all watched the duo, ate and proceeded to get well wasted. Chilo didn't as she's not a drinker, but as long as there some nice nibbles about, she's a happy camper!

The duo were quite unique. There was a female singer/drummer and her guitarist husband. There was a very live element to them. There was some tracks, but extremely minimal indeed. Maybe just a little bit of bass, no more. So they were as close to a band sound as a duo could be.

Their song choices were excellent and she had a lovely voice. In my pissed state, I was joking about her physical appearance. (feeling bad about it now as I account it) She was very pretty but er, well let me put it this way, they used to have pie on the menu before they started playing there if you get my meaning?

After a few hours we all elected to get our arses to Heroes to check out the new (old) band. It's the remnants of the band that Dan and I arranged to take over from us in 2007. The main difference now is that Belinda is no longer with them either, and in her absence she's been replaced by two people. That says how big a part of any band she can be.

We proceeded to get more pissed up than a second hand dialysis machine. The band are very good, the new members are great and have brought a new overall feel to the dynamic. They should do as well as they had done these last two years. I still look at them and think that I should have stayed for at least one more year, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Had a quick chat to the new guitarist who asked, "so are you a drummer?" to which I explained I was the drummer that got Raymar the gig there but felt it necessary to act it out like a waiter would as he brings someone a dish they ordered: "Your cushy gig sir, I hope everything is to your liking sir! Would you like some wine with that sir?" he looked at me bemused. I can't say I blame him, I must come across well odd at a first encounter.

I had a long chat to Gary (Heroes dj) who was also there as his Good Luck do as he was off to Barbados to work. So it was touching moment given his history there.

The next day, I said my goodbyes to Chilo and headed to the airport with an ache in my heart. I know I will see her again, hopefully at Christmas pending some factors.

The trip home went fine, I still hate planes and being on them. Well actually, I marvel at the engineering and genius of them, but would prefer to do that from the ground looking up.

I got suitably pissed on the plane. I even bumped into a blokey that used to drink in Heroes, even though we spoke many times there and for a long time on this flight about all sorts of stuff, I never got his name. He was a decent chap but displayed everythimg typical with an ex pat in the UAE, especially the characteristics of young ex pats.

Once on the ground, I had time for a quick cigarette outside before I was picked up by Jay and Phil to take me up north to the Travelodge for the night, before going to the first of the two gigs we had.

That concludes my Abu Dhabi trip. It was a blast and the highlight of my year, just tipping the Freddy and The Mercurys trip in Spain in August.
(see blog archives of august for details)

-- Post From My iPhone

Abu Dhabi trip part 3

Ok, so I have talked about the military operation that was getting over here from the gigs before it and ranting about the housing situation in the UAE, it's about time I actually spoke of the trip. I mean, it was what the whole thing was about; taking time out to see friends and the misses and generally kicking back before I am thrown back into the fray! Ultimately it was to be just that!

I slept like a log the first night I after arriving, oh Lordy! Not sleeping at all the previous night and hardly catching any Z's on the plane mainly due to my fear of flying being the principle factors in that.

Normally a long gap of not seeing someone you love can feel odd upon a first meeting but seeing Chilo after 9 months wasn't weird at all, like I was expecting. It was the couple of times we'd seen each other the first time after a long spell. I don't know what was different but I was not going to question it. It was down right lovely and instantly I knew it was worth the money that I didn't really have to spend coming to see her. I am not going to dedicate this blog to how lovely she is, but I will say this:
Think of the nicest, kindest, sweetest person devoid of any ill intention or malice you know, multiply that by a 1000 and you wouldn't even be close to Chilo. I MEAN IT!!! She's so sweet that Sugar looks at her and says, "FUCKING HELL!!!"



(contrary to what might appear to be a affectionate kiss to the woman I love, it is in actual fact the result of some cunt glueing my face to her cheek. She thought this was very funny, I'm clearly in agony trying to free myself)

Anyway, the first few days I didn't do a great deal. Chilo was working albeit Ramadan hours, so my day didn't start until at least she'd finished work. After which we'd walk to a supermarket, buy some groceries, she'd cook them up, we'd eat and we'd go out somewhere once Iftar was called signalling the breaking of the fast. The majority of the time it was with Belinda and Larry with whoever else I could brain-wash in hanging out that evening.


(Belinda and Lina in mood indigo, Novotel Abu Dhabi post Iftar)

Abu Dhabi during Ramadan is great and my favourite time of the year there BARR none, well Christmas strangely enough for a Muslim country comes a very close second. There's a lovely feeling about everyone and everything that I cannot put my finger on. I plan going next year same time though it will be bang in the middle of August and UAE during that month? Hot is NOT the best word to describe it. "A sandy oven on gas mark fuck you asshole!" is a better and more fitting term. But after the weather we'd had at home recently, screw this, give me baking unbearable sunshine anyway. It beats grey skies and windy rain in your face enough for you to down a bottle of turps and think "fuck it" to the world!

The third day there, I did end up baby sitting her niece and nephew. Faced with baby sitter issues, Chilo, her sister Jhoy, her brother Rolly or sister-in-law Angie was going to have to take a day off work to take care of them. As I was there doing generally all kinds of fuck all apart from laying in bed like a slug until I deemed fit to move a limb and head out into the day, I stepped up to the plate and offered my services.



(Zachary before he doth goo'd unto thine presence)

The two in question are Claire Marie Brucales and Zachary (something or other) Brucales, 5 and 2 respectively. Both lovely kids, super well behaved (for kids) and really a joy to be around.

For the first few hours it was all Cartoons and playing with toys, piece of piss! I was thinking "This baby sitting lark is fuck all, I am a right royal daddy-day-care no shit".... well, I spoke too soon.

Zachary being still in nappies did a doo-doo! A quick sniff to his lower back confirmed that. Well, more like the involuntary retching, watering of the eyes and gagging reflex I displayed upon doing so. I know I am 36 and I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews myself and have looked after them many times, but always in the supervision of my mother or their parents... or at the very least someone else more willing to handle human waste than I; can't say it's high on my favourite things list. Brown paper packages covered in string? Perhaps! But packages of brown stuff from baby goop hole? Definitely a NO NO! Plus only in recent years have I been looking after Hollie and Georgia, they are well beyond nappy age. In fact, I probably need them more than they ever did.

Anyway, there was no way I was going to have him running around constantly with his own stinky ass produce against his skin, I mean, I was brought up in a decent family not a council estate for Pete's sake (who's he I wonder?!?)

So I grabbed him, the nappies, and proceeded to strip the little guy of all that kack. It wasn't fun, but I did it relatively quickly without, I'll add, throwing up. I felt quite like I'd passed a rites of passage. All was well I thought as I sent him on his way all fresh.

After some time I could still smell poo. I thought it was in my head until I looked in the mirror. It's turned out that it wasn't IN my head but ON my head. I'd got some baby doo-doo on my face! It's not a look I'd be repeating anytime soon.

Anyway, shortly after everyone was home and it was no longer my reaponsability, the way I like it.

Another notible excursion of my trip was doing some recording for an old mate. He'd asked I'd be up for it a few weeks ago, so once here we'd arranged the where's and when's.

As it was still Ramadan we couldn't do anything until after Iftar as the engineer being a Muslim wasn't in the mood to do fuck all until he'd eaten something... Lazy bastard!

So with them not getting to me until gone 19:30, 2 hours drive to Dubai, collecting the drums, getting lost a lot in Dubai's urban sprawl trying to find the studio, setting up, arguing about the best way to record a drumkit with the engineer, we didn't put a single note to tape (more like byte to disk) until gone 12:00. I had 8 songs to record and hadn't learned one of them despite being given a cd a week earlier. I'm such a pro!!!

But thanks to modern recording techniques, I could do it part by part which I did for some of it, others I kinda learned after a few takes and ran it in a single take or two.

My timing wasn't as solid as I'd have liked which it never is. But I was thinking I'm total arse! But I was sporting a massive hangover from the two bottles of wine I'd consumed the previous night AND it was by this point 03:00! So it was as good as it was going to be. By the time I'd set the kit down and got back to Abu Dhabi, it was almost 06:00 and I was well ready for some kip.

Pipo has assured me that the drums with some minor tweaks only on one or two of the tunes are sounding great! Well if he doesn't think so, fuck him! Did I forget to mention that I was putting myself through all this for FREE?!? So he'd better fucking appreciate it! But joking aside, I'm glad I helped. I had a blast.



(Pipo and I after we'd finished recording)

The following Tuesday, I went to Dubai again but this time with Belinda, larry and Chilo. While there I met up with and hung out with Carmen and Barry. Carmen was the singer and band leader when I was at the Hard Rock last year, Barry is her fella. As Ramadan had finished there was music again, which meant we got to basque in the warm sounds of the two resident bands at Majestic Hotel: Flipside and Rock Spiders.



(Barry and Carmen)

Flipside are a Canadian 4 piece with a Filipino singer (that used to sing in the Rock Spiders) for good measure. They play generally the more classic rock/blues stuff that an ageing hippy like yours truly appreciates more than the spotty, baggy jeans wearing, floppy hair do little shit with a generally twatty attitude would care for. They are all quite accomplished musicians and great singers but there's a slight aire of arrogance with them, like they KNOW they're great players and you don't need to compliment them on it, THEY KNOW kind of thing. This is something that is typical of Candian and South African musicians I've found in UAE. But not to label anyone stereotypically, anyone can be an asshole regardless of what it says on their passport.

The drummer has an increadible voice. Anyone that knows me would be aware a pet hate of mine is when drummer feels they want in on the limelight with fuck all to offer in the vocal stakes. I always think of that joke: what does the drummer of a band say before he gets fired? "Hey guys, I've written a song we can play!" ok it's not the same thing but it can be tailored to "hey guys, can I sing a song?" Going back to my point, this guy is definitely NOT on the list that I like to call "stop singing and just play drums you cunt!"

...neither is Roger Taylor or Don Henley. Luke Goss is TOP of the list along with Phil Collins.

Rock Spiders are a totally different animal to Flipside. An all Filipino band like many in UAE. It's actually the band that I poached Belinda from in 2006 to come and play with us in Heroes (saved her from it more fitting term) Their repertoire consists of mainly all the cheesy, sqeaky metal from 80's and 90's. I'm talking Dio, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc. There's a 4 piece backline of drums, bass, guitar and keys with 3 female singers.

Yeah they're pretty aweful to listen to even though they are pretty good players and singers, they bluff SO much and do not know how to work to their strengths, in my very humble opinion.

BUT that said, I do respect them for their energy and not going with the norm. Anyone that's spent any length of time in Abu Dhabi or Dubai will tell you that if you've seen one Filipino band, you've generally seen them all; the format for their size and repertoire hardly changes from one to another.

But I will say all of them would generally give 90% of professional British bands an ass whopping on the playing and performance table.

To give it a different angle, a lot, if not most of them work 4 x 45 minute sets per night, 7 nights a week for 11 months with only breaks for visa runs. They are NOT allowed boyfriends or a social life other than with other band members and usually under supervision. This is typically an Indian bouncer type dude that would take "favours" off the girls for turning a blind eye for a meeting with a local Arab or some rich western busineess exec.

Oh yeah, another point. They do it for about £500 a month. Sounds like they're getting a shit deal? They are!! But it's nothing compared to what would await them if they were to leave and go home. Feels mighty great to be British now doesn't it?

Think on!!!

-- Post From My iPhone