I slept like a log the first night I after arriving, oh Lordy! Not sleeping at all the previous night and hardly catching any Z's on the plane mainly due to my fear of flying being the principle factors in that.
Normally a long gap of not seeing someone you love can feel odd upon a first meeting but seeing Chilo after 9 months wasn't weird at all, like I was expecting. It was the couple of times we'd seen each other the first time after a long spell. I don't know what was different but I was not going to question it. It was down right lovely and instantly I knew it was worth the money that I didn't really have to spend coming to see her. I am not going to dedicate this blog to how lovely she is, but I will say this:
Think of the nicest, kindest, sweetest person devoid of any ill intention or malice you know, multiply that by a 1000 and you wouldn't even be close to Chilo. I MEAN IT!!! She's so sweet that Sugar looks at her and says, "FUCKING HELL!!!"
(contrary to what might appear to be a affectionate kiss to the woman I love, it is in actual fact the result of some cunt glueing my face to her cheek. She thought this was very funny, I'm clearly in agony trying to free myself)
Anyway, the first few days I didn't do a great deal. Chilo was working albeit Ramadan hours, so my day didn't start until at least she'd finished work. After which we'd walk to a supermarket, buy some groceries, she'd cook them up, we'd eat and we'd go out somewhere once Iftar was called signalling the breaking of the fast. The majority of the time it was with Belinda and Larry with whoever else I could brain-wash in hanging out that evening.
(Belinda and Lina in mood indigo, Novotel Abu Dhabi post Iftar)
Abu Dhabi during Ramadan is great and my favourite time of the year there BARR none, well Christmas strangely enough for a Muslim country comes a very close second. There's a lovely feeling about everyone and everything that I cannot put my finger on. I plan going next year same time though it will be bang in the middle of August and UAE during that month? Hot is NOT the best word to describe it. "A sandy oven on gas mark fuck you asshole!" is a better and more fitting term. But after the weather we'd had at home recently, screw this, give me baking unbearable sunshine anyway. It beats grey skies and windy rain in your face enough for you to down a bottle of turps and think "fuck it" to the world!
The third day there, I did end up baby sitting her niece and nephew. Faced with baby sitter issues, Chilo, her sister Jhoy, her brother Rolly or sister-in-law Angie was going to have to take a day off work to take care of them. As I was there doing generally all kinds of fuck all apart from laying in bed like a slug until I deemed fit to move a limb and head out into the day, I stepped up to the plate and offered my services.
(Zachary before he doth goo'd unto thine presence)
The two in question are Claire Marie Brucales and Zachary (something or other) Brucales, 5 and 2 respectively. Both lovely kids, super well behaved (for kids) and really a joy to be around.
For the first few hours it was all Cartoons and playing with toys, piece of piss! I was thinking "This baby sitting lark is fuck all, I am a right royal daddy-day-care no shit".... well, I spoke too soon.
Zachary being still in nappies did a doo-doo! A quick sniff to his lower back confirmed that. Well, more like the involuntary retching, watering of the eyes and gagging reflex I displayed upon doing so. I know I am 36 and I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews myself and have looked after them many times, but always in the supervision of my mother or their parents... or at the very least someone else more willing to handle human waste than I; can't say it's high on my favourite things list. Brown paper packages covered in string? Perhaps! But packages of brown stuff from baby goop hole? Definitely a NO NO! Plus only in recent years have I been looking after Hollie and Georgia, they are well beyond nappy age. In fact, I probably need them more than they ever did.
Anyway, there was no way I was going to have him running around constantly with his own stinky ass produce against his skin, I mean, I was brought up in a decent family not a council estate for Pete's sake (who's he I wonder?!?)
So I grabbed him, the nappies, and proceeded to strip the little guy of all that kack. It wasn't fun, but I did it relatively quickly without, I'll add, throwing up. I felt quite like I'd passed a rites of passage. All was well I thought as I sent him on his way all fresh.
After some time I could still smell poo. I thought it was in my head until I looked in the mirror. It's turned out that it wasn't IN my head but ON my head. I'd got some baby doo-doo on my face! It's not a look I'd be repeating anytime soon.
Anyway, shortly after everyone was home and it was no longer my reaponsability, the way I like it.
Another notible excursion of my trip was doing some recording for an old mate. He'd asked I'd be up for it a few weeks ago, so once here we'd arranged the where's and when's.
As it was still Ramadan we couldn't do anything until after Iftar as the engineer being a Muslim wasn't in the mood to do fuck all until he'd eaten something... Lazy bastard!
So with them not getting to me until gone 19:30, 2 hours drive to Dubai, collecting the drums, getting lost a lot in Dubai's urban sprawl trying to find the studio, setting up, arguing about the best way to record a drumkit with the engineer, we didn't put a single note to tape (more like byte to disk) until gone 12:00. I had 8 songs to record and hadn't learned one of them despite being given a cd a week earlier. I'm such a pro!!!
But thanks to modern recording techniques, I could do it part by part which I did for some of it, others I kinda learned after a few takes and ran it in a single take or two.
My timing wasn't as solid as I'd have liked which it never is. But I was thinking I'm total arse! But I was sporting a massive hangover from the two bottles of wine I'd consumed the previous night AND it was by this point 03:00! So it was as good as it was going to be. By the time I'd set the kit down and got back to Abu Dhabi, it was almost 06:00 and I was well ready for some kip.
Pipo has assured me that the drums with some minor tweaks only on one or two of the tunes are sounding great! Well if he doesn't think so, fuck him! Did I forget to mention that I was putting myself through all this for FREE?!? So he'd better fucking appreciate it! But joking aside, I'm glad I helped. I had a blast.
(Pipo and I after we'd finished recording)
The following Tuesday, I went to Dubai again but this time with Belinda, larry and Chilo. While there I met up with and hung out with Carmen and Barry. Carmen was the singer and band leader when I was at the Hard Rock last year, Barry is her fella. As Ramadan had finished there was music again, which meant we got to basque in the warm sounds of the two resident bands at Majestic Hotel: Flipside and Rock Spiders.
(Barry and Carmen)
Flipside are a Canadian 4 piece with a Filipino singer (that used to sing in the Rock Spiders) for good measure. They play generally the more classic rock/blues stuff that an ageing hippy like yours truly appreciates more than the spotty, baggy jeans wearing, floppy hair do little shit with a generally twatty attitude would care for. They are all quite accomplished musicians and great singers but there's a slight aire of arrogance with them, like they KNOW they're great players and you don't need to compliment them on it, THEY KNOW kind of thing. This is something that is typical of Candian and South African musicians I've found in UAE. But not to label anyone stereotypically, anyone can be an asshole regardless of what it says on their passport.
The drummer has an increadible voice. Anyone that knows me would be aware a pet hate of mine is when drummer feels they want in on the limelight with fuck all to offer in the vocal stakes. I always think of that joke: what does the drummer of a band say before he gets fired? "Hey guys, I've written a song we can play!" ok it's not the same thing but it can be tailored to "hey guys, can I sing a song?" Going back to my point, this guy is definitely NOT on the list that I like to call "stop singing and just play drums you cunt!"
...neither is Roger Taylor or Don Henley. Luke Goss is TOP of the list along with Phil Collins.
Rock Spiders are a totally different animal to Flipside. An all Filipino band like many in UAE. It's actually the band that I poached Belinda from in 2006 to come and play with us in Heroes (saved her from it more fitting term) Their repertoire consists of mainly all the cheesy, sqeaky metal from 80's and 90's. I'm talking Dio, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc. There's a 4 piece backline of drums, bass, guitar and keys with 3 female singers.
Yeah they're pretty aweful to listen to even though they are pretty good players and singers, they bluff SO much and do not know how to work to their strengths, in my very humble opinion.
BUT that said, I do respect them for their energy and not going with the norm. Anyone that's spent any length of time in Abu Dhabi or Dubai will tell you that if you've seen one Filipino band, you've generally seen them all; the format for their size and repertoire hardly changes from one to another.
But I will say all of them would generally give 90% of professional British bands an ass whopping on the playing and performance table.
To give it a different angle, a lot, if not most of them work 4 x 45 minute sets per night, 7 nights a week for 11 months with only breaks for visa runs. They are NOT allowed boyfriends or a social life other than with other band members and usually under supervision. This is typically an Indian bouncer type dude that would take "favours" off the girls for turning a blind eye for a meeting with a local Arab or some rich western busineess exec.
Oh yeah, another point. They do it for about £500 a month. Sounds like they're getting a shit deal? They are!! But it's nothing compared to what would await them if they were to leave and go home. Feels mighty great to be British now doesn't it?
Think on!!!
-- Post From My iPhone
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