Exmouth Marine Training Base

The second of the Corprate shows was for a function at a Royal Marines Training base. I did a few bases in Germany in 1992 and they generally are awesome gigs. I was really hoping this would be no different.

My respect for these guys holds no bounds, so having to play for them in a show made me feel somewhat humbled. But I was determined to do a great show and hopefully entertain them.

After the security checks etc (that didn't even require us to show ID? WTF!?!) we drove to the tent where the gig was, unloaded and then took a look at the stage. We were warned it was going to be small and although it was plenty big enough for the band, the dancers were going to have a fucking nightmare; and boy did we find this out later when they arrived!!

We set up and waited for sound check. It was held back on the account of Nathan, Leona and Laura arriving late. So we soundchecked the band, Wayne and Clive. Nathan, Laura and Leona's mics were checked and hoped that the levels would be sufficient for them when it came to showtime.

We hung out in the band room allocated for us. Then Anna and Pheobe arrived:

They took one look at the stage and came into the band room and opened up the dialogue with "WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE?" I immediatly thought, "What's wrong, it's a nice sized room out of the way, quiet with food and some drinks, what else do you need???" - Me being not to sharp on the the uptake thought they were referring to the room they'd given us to hang before the show. It was only after the tirade of sentences starting with, "I am not being funny but..." that I was to realise it was actually about the size of the stage and how John had taken the gig under the guise of us doing the show AS IS regardless of the how's and why's. I totally sympathised with them. Pheobe had had a rough night before with some personal issues and being stuck the side of the motorway on her own most of the night when her car had broken down and so was not really in the right frame of mind to be told to do the show as best you can with literally feet not meters. They were both teary-eyed as they laid to bare their beefs to Wayne, he being company manager and all!

Nathan, Laura and Leona arrived shortly after and too were not in the best frame of mind to do this show. They were late thanks to a misunderstanding but were straight on the debating techniques known as "what the fucks" The mood was tense!

The show started and after 3 songs, ALL STOP!!! There was a power failure just as I played the intro fill for Livin On Prayer. So it all went dark with just the sounds of a drum kit being played alone but slowly stuttering to a stop. It was so Spinal Tap!

Dan and Jarvis were frantically powering up the mains only for it to trip again as the equipment was being powered up one by one. It was assessed that the Dj's gear that was pushing the generator to limit. So we unplugged him and powered up and banged out the remainder of the whole show with no break because of the time it took to reset everything.

The gig went great and I played well... I think.

I pulled the kit down in super time and headed to the bar with Clive and Ian as we were staying over. Everyone else fucked off from there super sharpish showing an air of angst still prominent from the heated exchanges that occurred prior to the show.

Clive, Ian and myself proceeded to get wasted with Her Majesty's Royal Marines, and we didn't pay for one drink on account of Clive's fame! A few didn't believe he was actually The Doctor from Doctor And The Medics!

It was weird talking to these guys, I felt so humbled by their presence. There they were part of a 7000 strong Elite fighting force, willing to lay life and limb for Queen and country in the name of duty and honour. Not only that but were the Instructors of such and Elite force! To coin a phrase, SUPER FUCKING HARD BASTARDS. And then there was me... a drummer, good for all but fuck all. Yeah, I felt like a mouse amongt Lions! And yet, they were as down to earth as anyone you'd meet. All of them were total gents and damn good laugh too! 'nuff Respect!!!

Then it was time for a Champagne breakfast before bed, eh? Isn't breakfast something that is supposed to happen after bed? Regardless, I wasn't going to question it as it was uber awesome!

Clive, Ian and myself rolled back to out Barracks at around 4 am and we all went to sleep after I told them about the time I shit myself REALLY BADLY whilst trying to hold in a turd while on the phone. Not complete enough, I then relayed the 30 minute nightmare I had cleaning my ass and balls from the squidge I hath made.

Goodnight guys, sweet (but smelly) dreams!