Friday 19 June 2009

Hertford part UNO!

I called it "uno" to add a wee bit of Español to the proceedings! Because I am cultured like that... more like sad! Oh well, at least I am aware of it. ¡Qué bien!

It's only been a couple of hours since I finished and posted my last post so I am fresh on the heels of it. I am currently in a Weatherspoons after having a rather awesome Mixed Grill and a coffee. But I am feeling a little uneasy.

As I type I find myself surrounded by piss-heads, waifs and strays the like you'd see on The Jeremy Kyle show, or "Court Kyle" as I have come to refer to it. I find myself clenching my fist and punching upwards in an upper cut type motion, like a Striker after scoring a goal whenever I hear that self righteous bastard say stuff like, "GET OFF MY STAGE, YOU'RE A DISGRACE MADAM!" "WELL WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT MAN?!" "EXCUSE ME, IT SAYS THE JEREMY KYLE SHOW THERE!" "Let's get those all important life changing DNA results!" ... yes, Court Kyle is in session! ALL RISE!

Why am I feeling uneasy? Well, here's a starter for 10. Just a few feet from me is a 'gentleman' and a 'lady' playing the "deal or no deal" machine. Both are in late 40's/early 50's, covered in tatoos, he's got a skin head, she's got a poor quality blonde dye of sorts. It's just gone 3:00 pm and they are quite pissed. They talk like something from Snatch or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But they are clearly at odds with each other with regards to the questions and more specifically, the answers they are selecting from the multiple choice menus.

'NO' THA' FACKIN WAAAN, YOOO STOOOPED COW!"
'OIM TRYIN' ME BEST F' FAAAKSAKE!'
'.....YARA'CUNT!!!"

Etc.

I fear a full blown, council estate style domestic punch up at any moment. Not exactly what I would have put down on my to-do list today.
1. Get up.
2. Have a piss
3. put some clothes on
4. have breakfast.
5. get to gig
6. have something to eat
6. break up some scum bags punching fuck out of each other in the middle of the pub.

But I digress...

The get-in time for the show has changed from 12:00 (for pa and lights) to 14:00 putting, er well not really a cat amongst the pigeons, more like, A FUCKING LION amongst the Zebras! Soundcheck time was proposed to be put back an hour, I see that as reasonable enough, that's just from my point of view. But none the less, it was refused point blank. So souncheck is still 5 given the crew 3 hours to load and set everything instead of the 5 hours they've been having.

As a result, there's a tenseness a foot everywhere within the crew. At least that's how it feels, perhaps it's not quite as bad as I see it and perhaps it's just something that will die down after a few days. I hope it doesn't get worse though, no matter how that turns out it's sorta spoiling what should be a fun time for everyone (the soul wrenching feeling that IS playing to no one aside) Whatever happens, I am sure you'll get to find out here. It's like soap opera isn't it?

Ever wonder where the term Soap opera comes from? Nor me until just now. I wouldn't have imagined Pavarotti, Domingo and Carreras singing about the trails and tribulations of being at the toiletries aile at a Tesco's not knowing which cleaning product to chose.

Anyway, I have talked shite long enough. Battery is about to die on the computer and it's about time I went across to the Theatre to set some drums up! And incase you are wondering what they look like, here's a rather nice pic of it if I do say so myself.

More about the gig and anything else random later.


1 comment:

Mike, Jacqui and Ieuan Mackrill said...

Soap Opera comes from the first "serial drama" that were sponsored by Lux soap in America in the 50's

Fuck knows why I know that